Personal Statement Tip - Vivid, Active Verbs
I watched a candle burn a few nights ago. It happened to have a particularly
nice flame that conjured up many different images:
“The flame burned” sounds so dull next to the alternatives. It s factual, but
pedestrian. Ordinary. Blah. It does not convey any of the images that the other
sentences do because it doesn t have the visual impact.
In describing your activities, you want to use active verbs that convey sensory
information. They will transform your readers into flies on the wall of your
stories. Those well-chosen lively verbs will make your essays come alive.
When you edit your essays, examine at least some of your verbs. Evaluate
replacing the humdrum ones. Choose muscular, powerful verbs that convey images,
sounds, smells, and experiences.
Consider the following examples:
Did you “try,” “plan” “strive,” or “struggle” to complete your project on time?
And what about that marathon your ran? Did you just “run” it. Alternatively, did
you limp across the finish line plagued by blisters, or did an adrenaline surge
at the end combined with earlier weeks of training carry you , propel you, or
thrust you across that finish line?
When editing your essays, take a minute to examine your descriptions. Do they
bore? Are they common? If so, look at your verbs. Then look up the worst
offenders in a thesaurus. You may find descriptive options far better than the
ones you are so used to using. Looking in the thesaurus is like going to the
store to buy a new pair of thick-soled, walking shoes. It means making the
effort to turn in your trusty, worn-out pair for new ones. Your walk will have
new bounce when you pull just the right pair off the shelf. Your writing will
also have restored vigor when you use the thesaurus to inject life into it.
Warning: To enliven your writing without making a fool of yourself, only use
words that you know the meaning and connotation of. Don t choose words to
impress. Choose them to convey meaning succinctly and vividly.
Linda Abraham, http://www.Accepted.com founder and president, has helped thousands of applicants develop successful admissions strategies and craft distinctive essays. In addition to advising clients and managing Accepted.com, she has written and lectured extensively on admissions. The Wall St. Journal, The New York Times, and BusinessWeek are among the publications that have sought Linda s expertise.
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